The World is Not Impressed By Me

This morning I was hiding out in the bathroom amidst a motherhood/marriage meltdown and needed a little mindless distraction, so naturally I scanned through Facebook.  I came upon an article a friend had posted from Time.com: Wondering What Happened to Your Class Valedictorian? Not Much, Research Shows.  As a class Valedictorian (one of five actually), I was, of course, interested to find out how, exactly, I have managed to amount to “not much” in my life.

Someone should warn her!!

There was much in the article that I did agree with: that schools do favor students who follow the rules, that “academic grades correlate only loosely with intelligence,” and that grades are an “excellent predictor of self-discipline, conscientiousness, and the ability to comply with rules.”  Schools are in the business of getting kids to fall in line and to conform to what society wants of them.  However, there are those schools, and those teachers, who try to go against this system and encourage their students to think outside the box and to challenge the status quo.  As a former high school teacher, myself, I have seen many teachers in both camps, almost all of whom were dedicating their lives, and hearts, to their students and doing the best that they could…but I digress.

The article goes on to state that most valedictorians are “extremely well rounded and successful, personally and professionally, but they’ve never been devoted to a single area in which they put all their passion,” and that they are “reliable, consistent, and well-adjusted, and by all measures the majority have good lives,” but that many of these things are not “usually a recipe for eminence.”  

Um, guess what?  Not everyone wants to be “eminent.”  Many people are happy being well rounded and pouring their energy into many different causes and interests rather than pursuing one singular passion.  And, guess what else?  Some people are perfectly happy to pour themselves into one singular passion for the pure joy of realizing that passion without seeking fame or glory. 

As someone who has never had just one singular passion, I know how fulfilling it can be to not devote yourself to “one single area.”  I’ve found so much joy in photography, gardening, cooking, weaving, yoga, sewing and countless other interests that I can’t imagine picking just one.  I know that I will never be an expert at any one of these things, but I’m filled with gratitude and wonder every time I get to engage in one of these activities.  And as a life-long learner I spend countless hours reading up on subjects that interest me and losing myself in great works of literature.  I also know that none of these things will lead to riches or fame.  But what they do lead to, is a happy heart and a stronger connection with others with whom I’m able to share these things.

The problem, to me, is that our society constantly equates success with money, power, fame…eminence.  Not all people aspire to those things, and not all people equate them with success.  Does that make them unsuccessful just because they don’t adhere to what society expects them to want or to strive for?  Is having a “good life” just not good enough if you can’t prove it with a bank statement or flaunt it through powerful connections and notoriety?

The author also lets us know that basically none of the high performers in high school go on to “change the world, run the world or impress the world.”  

First of all, just because someone isn’t finding the cure for cancer or running a country doesn’t mean they aren’t changing the world.  The people I know who are changing the world do it by changing their world: donating time and money to worthy organizations, writing letters to their legislative representatives, spending time loving and learning from their loved ones, teaching children, saving lives as nurses and doctors, fighting for the rights of the oppressed, speaking out against hate, intolerance and ignorance, and raising their children to be kind, compassionate, humble, joyful human beings.  And frankly, if the world isn’t impressed by that, then the world can go fuck itself, because frankly I’m not that impressed with the world right now anyway.  

In the eyes of this author, I, too, would fit into the findings of the study: I was a high school valedictorian.  I had about a 3.4 GPA in college and I went on to a professional career as a teacher.  I feel like I’m “reliable, consistent and well-adjusted” and live a good life.  I don't run the world or apparently impress it.  I’m not at the “top of adult achievement arenas”.  I’m not a visionary. I don’t shake up the system.

But here’s what any study would fail to see and what this study would fail to recognize and celebrate: that I am someone who cares deeply about her friends and family and tries to show it and express it as much as possible; someone who finds so much beauty in her everyday life that it sometimes overwhelms her; someone who is always trying to better herself by learning about the world, the lives of others, the teachings of others and coming to a better understanding of herself; someone who does everything she can to protect and honor the earth; someone who values humility, compassion, empathy and respect; someone who is working her butt off to instill humility, compassion, empathy and respect in her daughter; someone who is sincerely trying to make the lives of others better.

The older I get, and the more I learn and grow, the less money, fame and notoriety mean to me (if they ever really meant anything), and the more the above mentioned things fill my life and my heart with joy.  Some, like the author of the Time.com piece, may call this a mediocre life absent of “earthshaking accomplishments” (read this article!!!! What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life?), but I think it’s quite extraordinary.

If I can stop one Heart from breaking

I shall no live in vain

If I can ease one Life the Aching

Or cool one Pain

Or help one fainting Robin

Unto his Nest again

I shall not live in vain.

-Emily Dickinson